


Remember the Sun

by djchika



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-27
Updated: 2013-04-27
Packaged: 2017-12-09 15:30:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djchika/pseuds/djchika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine gets into a car accident and Kurt stay in Lima to take care of him. This doesn’t sit as well with Blaine as Kurt likes to pretend.</p><p>(post season 3)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember the Sun

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Remember The Sun](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1386187) by [HeyDagger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyDagger/pseuds/HeyDagger)



> Originally posted April 5, 2012

_Once there was a darkness_

_Deep and endless night_

_You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me life_

­-----

The sun was warm on Kurt’s face as he walked across the courtyard.  It was late October and the cold should have descended upon Lima weeks ago but the weather seemed to be inexplicably kind to Ohio that year.

The trees even had a smattering of leaves attached to their branches. As if holding on to the last vestiges of warmth before being enveloped by the cold darkness that winter is sure to bring.

He scanned the groups enjoying the unusually warm day. He didn’t need more than a moment to find him. His eyes were easily drawn to the dark-haired boy sitting on a stone bench under an alcove of trees.

Kurt’s fingers worked on the buckle of his messenger bag nervously, throat constricting as a jumble of emotions from their last fight washed over him.

­-----

_The serious expression on Blaine’s face should have warned him. His hazel eyes had darkened to a deep mahogany that Kurt had seen all too often after the accident._

_He ignored it though. The day had been uneventful and they were both enjoying a quiet night cuddled in bed, Blaine’s hands softly glossing over his fingers._

_“Have you ever thought it might be easier if we just didn’t see each other?”_

_Kurt stiffened. “No. Why would you even say something like that?”_

_“You know why,” Blaine said softly._

_“We’ve talked about this before.” Kurt gritted out. He closed his eyes, willing Blaine to shut up about the whole thing. They were having such a good day._

_“And I want to talk about it again now,” Blaine insisted, his usual acquiescence to Kurt’s moods gone. “Maybe it would be better if you did go to New York. It wouldn’t be too late to apply for next semester’s classes and Rachel’s already there so - ”_

_“No.”_

_Kurt calmly removed his hands from underneath Blaine’s throwing the covers off him. The happy feeling from the day was quickly turning into annoyance and exasperation. They weren’t talking about this because they’ve already talked about this._

_“Kurt – “, Blaine said, trying to grab Kurt’s hands again but he was already on his feet._

_“No!”_

_Blaine winced at the volume but Kurt didn’t care. He grabbed his bag and stalked to the door. He didn’t notice that his whole body shaking violently until he reached for the doorknob._

_“I’m not leaving you,” he said, failing to control the tremor in his voice.”That is NOT an option.”_

\-----

Kurt cleared away the memory. It had been a week since he had last seen Blaine, a week since the argument that had left him sobbing and shaking in his room. He took a couple of quick calming breaths before striding over to the boy.

Blaine didn’t see him coming, his eyes were closed, his head tilted up to the sun, basking in its warmth.

Kurt stood in front of Blaine as a way of greeting, not trusting himself to speak yet.

The other boy’s brows furrowed at the sudden loss of sunlight. Slowly, Blaine opened his eyes and Kurt’s breath caught, afraid of what he’d see there.

Blaine’s eyes focused and the warm, familiar smile he gave Kurt made his heart ache as hope shone through.

“Hey,” Kurt said softer than he’d intended.  He cleared his throat. “Mind if I sit down?”

Blaine scooted over on the bench, “Of course not.”

“You seem to be in a good mood,” Kurt said, bumping his shoulder gently against Blaine’s.

Blaine winked at him cheekily, a wide smile on his face. “The weather’s so perfect it seems rude to be in anything but good spirits today.”

Kurt couldn’t help the teasing sarcasm in his voice, “That’s very considerate of you.”

They sat together in silence for a while. Kurt didn’t mind. He needed the silence right now, needed the time to gather his courage. He let out a humorless laugh at that. Courage.

Beside him he felt more than saw Blaine shift, his eyes looking at Kurt inquisitively.

Kurt let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I came to tell you something. I – I think you’re right,” He paused then. Steeled himself for the words that rush out of him. “I think that maybe I should go to New York.”

He waited. He didn’t speak, needing the next words to come from Blaine. He wanted so badly for Blaine to tell him that he had changed his mind. That Kurt shouldn’t go to New York. That he should stay in Lima with Blaine.

Blaine didn’t say anything though, instead he settled back into his previous position, back against the bench, his shoulder tight against Kurt’s.

Kurt took Blaine’s hand and turned his head to finally look at his boyfriend. Blaine’s brow creased as he stares at their interlocked fingers and Kurt could hear the blood rushing in his hears, heart hammering in his chest.

Gently, Blaine extracted his hand from Kurt’s. He looked up at him eyes still warm but with a wariness that wasn’t there before.

“Please don’t get me wrong,” Blaine smiled at him politely, placidly. “You seem like a very nice boy, but do I know you?”

Kurt’s heart splintered.

He should have been used to it by now. He should be used to blank stares and confused looks.

He should be used to tender touches that mean everything and nothing at the same time.

He should be used to hearing the words, “My name’s Blaine” over and over again.

He should be used to it. He _was_.

But it still broke him every time Blaine forgot.

­-----

_Kurt picked up a card on the pile between them and read the question, “And where did we first meet?”_

_“At the staircase in Dalton,” Blaine answered promptly._

_Kurt leaned over and gave him another kiss as a reward, allowing it to go on a little longer than the others. Blaine’s hands tangled into Kurt’s hair as he shifted closer._

_When they finally pulled away both were slightly breathless. Kurt leaned in as if to go for another kiss but instead reached over to grab another card from the pile._

_He stifled a giggle as he read the question, “What song did you sing during The Warbler Gap Attack of 2011?”_

_Blaine groaned and scrunched his face at Kurt, “Can I at least forget_ that _please?”_

_“Tough luck, mister,” Kurt replied lightly, ”I’m never going to let you forget anything.”_

_Blaine gave Kurt a look that was quietly sad, “We can’t keep doing this. I probably won’t remember any of it tomorrow. I can’t remember_ you _, half the time.”_

_“Then I’ll help you remember.” He said with forced optimism. He picked up the stack of cue cards and busied himself with cleaning around the unfamiliar room._

_He hated that Blaine’s parents had let Blaine talk them to transferring him to a “caring facility”. Even if the whole place looked so much like Dalton that Kurt always half-expected an impromptu performance of the Warblers in the common areas._

_Blaine pressed on, “This isn’t a movie, Kurt. This isn’t 50 First Dates you can’t tie yourself down in Lima because of me.”_

_The topic ruffled at Kurt but he refused to take the bait. “So does that make me Adam Sandler? Because there’s no way those Hawaiian shirts are getting within 50 feet of me.”_

_Blaine opened his mouth as if to keep arguing but instead he gave Kurt an exasperated look and finally gave up the topic. He reached out to Kurt, who went willingly, letting Blaine wrap his arms around his waist. “You know you’d look good in anything,”_

­-----

Kurt’s eyes slid shut. He refused to let Blaine see him cry, especially when he wasn’t even there at all.

He felt Blaine’s hands on his knee and he forced himself to blink back the tears and look at Blaine.

“Hey, are you all right? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Kurt schooled his face to a look of relative calm and patted Blaine’s hand. “I’m fine. I didn’t realize I wasn’t able to introduce myself earlier. I’m Kurt.”

“My name’s Blaine.”

Blaine offered his hand to him and Kurt took it in his. Memories of staircases, coffee dates, their first kiss, prom, Blaine’s first day at McKinley rushed through his mind.

­-----

_“Please.”_

_Kurt pressed the phone against his ear but didn’t say anything. He was tired of fighting. Tired of everything._

_“Do you know what it does to me?” Blaine’s voice was barely a whisper but Kurt can hear the pain in it all the same, “I know you’re here because of me. You aren’t in New York because of me. You’re giving up everything because of me. When I remember, I remember that too and I can’t stand it.”_

_Kurt choked out a sob, fingers curling into the covers. “I love you.”_

_“Then please, don’t do this to me, Kurt. Go to New York. Promise me,” Blaine said fiercely, “Even if I forget all of this tomorrow you need to promise that you’ll go.”_

­-----

“So,” Blaine began tentatively, “You’re going to New York. That’s big.”

“Yes,” Kurt croaked out. He cleared his throat and tried again, “Yes it is.”

Blaine gave him a deeply genuine look that made Kurt chuckle. “I’m really happy for you.”

He rolled his eyes at the earnestness, “Thank you.”

“Maybe I’ll visit you there someday.”

Kurt’s throat closed up again and he fought the tears that he knew were forming behind his eyelids.

 _Fuck you,_ his mind whispered. He didn’t know who he was cursing. The universe, his life, the God he didn’t believe in, maybe all of them.

He swallowed down the sob forming in his chest and took Blaine’s hand in his again.

Blaine didn’t take his hand away that time, instead he nudged closer to Kurt, laying his head on his shoulder.

“I’d like that,” Kurt finally said.

“Will you say goodbye to me before you leave?”

He exhaled and his tears finally slipped free of his eyes. He knew he couldn’t come back. If he came back he would never leave, would never be able to keep his promise.

“I’m never saying goodbye to you.”

Blaine nodded once against Kurt’s shoulder but didn’t respond. Kurt didn’t know how but it was as if even without remembering, Blaine knew the importance of those words.

It was the one thing that kept him going, the knowledge that even when Blaine didn’t remember, he knew.

­-----

_I will remember you, will you remember me?_

_Don't let your life pass you by,_

_Weep not for the memories_

_Remember the good times that we had?_

**Author's Note:**

> This btw, was inspired by this gifset (http://djchika.tumblr.com/post/18285326148/cooperandrsons-au-in-which-blaine-lost-his) which is totally not mine but awesome nonetheless.
> 
> The song is Sarah McLachlan’s I Will Remember You.


End file.
